Overwhelmed
It is very interesting how God places things on our hearts, but doesn't necessarily remove the fear and/or stress involved. In fact, maybe if God has really laid something on our heart, it doesn't necessarily flow with the gift that is given. I'll use some aspects of my own life as an example...
1. Our church's mission is "willing to love; living to serve". I believe in it wholeheartedly and feel we need to reach out the the community regularly. However, these events stress me out more than anything. I think about them, worry about them, and always have a moment where I almost "break" because I can't stand the pressure anymore. But... I know we are called to do it, so I do it.
2. As a pastor it is my responsibility to build relationships with people. I do pretty good at this once I get to know somebody, but strangers absolutely terrify me. I always worry about what to say, how to say it, and feel that I am terrible at first impressions. I stressed out when I see someone in public that I kinda know, cause I don't know what to do. And yet, I know that I need to open up and be welcoming to those around me. It's what I am called to do.
3. I am terrified of memorization. I would dread having to recite memory verses or needing to memorize lines in a drama. Anything that requires me to memorize causes my gut to go into turmoil. I love preaching! And honestly, I memorize everything I say, but if I don't have the notes there then I become very nervous. I never did plays in high school or anything like that because the prospect of memorizing pages of lines sounded like a level of hell. And yet, for ministry's sake I have done quite a bit of memorizing, it's what I am called to do.
You know what areas of ministry don't make me nervous? Those areas that require little to no risk. Those areas that keep me from looking like a fool or making others feel like a fool. And yet... This is where I am called. It bothers me how many people I see never take risks because being comfortable is primary. If I rested in what was comfortable all the time, then I wouldn't be here in the first place. Consider this day if their is a risk worth taking because you feel called.
