Overwhelmed
It is very interesting how God places things on our hearts, but doesn't necessarily remove the fear and/or stress involved. In fact, maybe if God has really laid something on our heart, it doesn't necessarily flow with the gift that is given. I'll use some aspects of my own life as an example...
1. Our church's mission is "willing to love; living to serve". I believe in it wholeheartedly and feel we need to reach out the the community regularly. However, these events stress me out more than anything. I think about them, worry about them, and always have a moment where I almost "break" because I can't stand the pressure anymore. But... I know we are called to do it, so I do it.
2. As a pastor it is my responsibility to build relationships with people. I do pretty good at this once I get to know somebody, but strangers absolutely terrify me. I always worry about what to say, how to say it, and feel that I am terrible at first impressions. I stressed out when I see someone in public that I kinda know, cause I don't know what to do. And yet, I know that I need to open up and be welcoming to those around me. It's what I am called to do.
3. I am terrified of memorization. I would dread having to recite memory verses or needing to memorize lines in a drama. Anything that requires me to memorize causes my gut to go into turmoil. I love preaching! And honestly, I memorize everything I say, but if I don't have the notes there then I become very nervous. I never did plays in high school or anything like that because the prospect of memorizing pages of lines sounded like a level of hell. And yet, for ministry's sake I have done quite a bit of memorizing, it's what I am called to do.
You know what areas of ministry don't make me nervous? Those areas that require little to no risk. Those areas that keep me from looking like a fool or making others feel like a fool. And yet... This is where I am called. It bothers me how many people I see never take risks because being comfortable is primary. If I rested in what was comfortable all the time, then I wouldn't be here in the first place. Consider this day if their is a risk worth taking because you feel called.
1 comments:
First of all, good stuff man. Way to ear your soul a little. It is amazing that God would call us into things that make us the most unvomfortable. And, how amazing that all of us have different things that affect us. For instance, all those things you said are things I love. I really don't stress out about things and I love meeting new people. And as far as memorizing things, well, let's just say I love doing a good stage production! Haha...The things that make me uncomfortable are things like...
1. Making decisions. It slways makes me feel so scared that people will hate the choice I have made. They will tell me how wrong it is and why I should have chosen something else. However, God has placed me in a leadership position in which I must choose things that people may or may not love. Scary...
2. Organization. Ok, not so much for me, but being organized for other people. Having things ready when people need them and making sure they are informed when they need to be. But, again, God has called me to be over people that need information and such to be prepared for worship and things like that.
3. Offending people. I stress out that something I say or do will upset someone. That they will harbor resentment or anger but that I will never know it. Yet, here I am, called to a place where I must not only encourage people but also point out the problems and faults in their lives.
Boy, God, you sure do work in mysterious ways. But, I am so glad you have trusted me enough to call me to do something for you. I'll do my best. Let's all do our best to answer those calls, whatever they may be and however uncomfortable!
Thanks Jaman...good stuff!
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